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Be your own BFF

The below article defines loneliness as a negative emotional reaction to a discrepancy between the relationships we have and those we want. While a helpful article, that is obvious and probably doesn’t need to be said. Not explained in the article is why we feel that way. Each of us exists on a continuum of “differentiation.” When we are born, we don’t yet realize we are not mom. After all, we were a part of mom for nine months. After popping out, we learn to individuate, i.e. learn we are “not mom.” Some individuals are taught by mom to do that better than others. Those that don’t at all are called schizophrenics. They literally do not even have separate ego structures and never learn to function as an individual. Learning to be alone is a developmental process that continues into old age. If you didn’t learn to enjoy solitude, you may end up with mom’s problems and illnesses or dysfunctional relational behaviors and not enjoy the one very beautiful individual life you have.—MR

How to overcome the loneliness of youth

by Pamela Qualter & Lily Verity, Psyche newsletter, August 18, 2021

It’s extremely common to feel lonely when you’re young. Many strategies can help, the key is finding what works for you.

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August 18th, 2021 | Permalink

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